Gumball Solace

      I love truth, you know that concept that has been replaced with Wikipedia, the modern day Nicene Creed version of everyone collectively decides what is acceptable or "true" and then go with it.  But I love the real stuff, those truths or laws that exist whether we believe them or not.  Take gravity for instance, we can profess, reason, and argue intelligently about specifics, but once we step off the platform.... we will fall.  Unfortunately truth is not as clearly defined in society as is the law of gravity. 

      I can remember the first time I fell in love with gumballs.  The multi-colored, hollow center, "can't have just one" kind.  We were at the checkout stand at the local grocery store.  I was ahead of my mom as she wrote the check when I saw them, the two kids at the gumball machine.  As I recall one of them had a tube sock filled with pennies and the other held that classic tin Band-Aid box.  The boy would put the penny in, turn the knob, and out came a colorful gumball.  The girl would open the little silver door and let the gumball roll into her hand and then carefully transfer it to the tin box.  Before long I could see that it was almost full.  It was easy to tell they were determined to fill it to the top.  Their efficiency improved with each penny that was slotted in the turn dial, so did their excitement.

      It was almost contagious, just watching them, I could feel my own excitement growing.  I kept my eyes on them as my mom and I walked out of the store.  Funny that I should remember something so seemingly insignificant, but it mattered to me.  Watching them rejoice in their gumball heaven was mesmerizing because it was so opposite of what I was experiencing at the time.  My dad had recently died, my mom left with 7 children to care for, and as the youngest, there wasn't a lot I could do to change that.  At that age you just watch, listen, and do whatever a 4-year-old does in emotionally confusing times, like seek for solace. 

I didn't realize it then, but sugar became a crutch in times of emotional distress.  Now this may not be "true".  It may not be true that sugar offers comfort in times of distress, it merely offers a mini vacation for taste buds and a moment to forget, but no healing for the heart.  So is it "true" that sugar offers solace?  I guess it depends on your goals.  Is the mini vacation enough? It was then. But not any more.  I have finally realized that I want the steady calm that comes from balancing my blood sugar along with everything else in life.  I want more than a vacation for my taste buds.  I want balance, soul-satisfying, solace-inviting, heart-healing balance.  Truth is, I just want more.