Vacation and Menstruation

So I discovered the worst possible combination for someone who wants to ditch sugar cravings....vacation and menstruation.  The already difficult 5-7 days that come once a month where I have thus far been pretty successful at convincing myself that I don't need sugar to make it through the day or night, came just as I was headed out of town to celebrate the beautiful Independence Day weekend.  I must have left my will power behind when I walked out with my suitcase and floaties in one arm, the other arm filled with essentials everyone else forgot (like toothbrushes, snacks, and anything else to survive a roadtrip). 

By day 3 I had run out of apples, oranges, strawberries, and 100% Fruit Roll-ups (suprisingly delicious by the way).  If that wasn't enough, my body unleashed some kind of monster craving attack that was a silent killer for any serotonin roaming around in my brain. We all have our bad days but this felt downright tazmanian. It seemed that in a matter of days I was slowly losing my "control" and ready to skinny dip in a pool of refined sugar. Fortunately I knew giving in would only make it worse.  So I put my boxing gloves on and started punching.  Unfortunately I was the only one in the ring as my family quickly put on their padded sparring gear and ran the opposite direction.  

Being out of my element was definately a contributor, but I felt sufficiently prepared in that regard.  I obviously wasn't prepared for the combination of free time, restaurant hopping, and mensing all at once. I was really hoping my family would start remembering all those sunday school lessons on forgiveness and patience!

Interestingly enough Dr. Daniel Amen, an amazing psychiatrist who has performed over 50,000 brain scans has discovered that for many women the blood flow throughout the brain can alter a bit during menstruation (and even recede in certain areas of the brain).  This isn't the case for all women, but for some it can make the difference in irritability, frustration, cravings, and many different symptoms during their cycle (because low blood flow, low activity).  Not only that but he has also found that taking fish oil, making sure you have plenty of Vitamin D, and eating small meals throughout the day starting with breakfast make a huge difference in your ability to keep blood sugar levels balanced, the key to a healthy brain!  As a yogi I was also surprised to hear him say that meditation is a great tool for brain balance.  Check out his video on YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ER8pi21hw9Y

So next time I head out the door for vacation with menstruation on the calendar, I will definately have my fish oil, multivitamin, protein snacks, and Om ready to attack the monster cravings!  I'll tell my family to leave their sparring gear at home (at least most of it).  Happy travels to all!

Sugar Love

There are few physical comforts that I enjoy more than a clean face towel. Folded in half, rolled in a tube, flung in a pile on the countertop, I don't mind the form, it's just the pleasure of having what you love at your fingertips.  All the better for body and mind if that comfort happens to be healthy for you.  Sometimes it takes a bit of reconditioning to change what we see as "comfort".  My sugar love somehow died when I realized that the comfort factor was gone.  I would eat a little and just want more, the cravings would replace the comfort. 

When I was a child I used to wish I had one of those ice cream machines in my house, the kind that twirl around and around so the customers can see the ice cream thickness and hear that audible churn of the machine daring them to try and walk away.  Then, if you were lucky you would get a seasoned worker who knew how to make those swirls just perfect, wide and even enough to hold steady but thick enough to avoid the hollow center.  Two flavor swirl was even mesmerizing.  Chocolate and vanilla swirl for me please.
The absence of refined sugar seems to help me notice the simple pleasures in life so much more readily, and to have steady energy to create more of them. Instead of craving sugar after dinner to celebrate finishing a meal, having sugar for an afternoon snack just because I have been awake for 6 hours, or seeking out the nearest ice cream cone destination with my children regardless of how quickly their relatively calm temperaments will change to hyperactivity, I seem to have convinced my body that I am serious about not consuming the foods that once provided the endorphins rapidly released with sugar consumption.  I think this "cold turkey" thing may be working.  (By the way have you ever heard of anyone craving turkey that is cold?  I think I may know why they call it that.)

The problem with my old habit of sugar love is that I was defeating my body's main purpose, to maintain homeostasis. Instead I was working against it by creating a "high" with dopamine and serotonin stimulated with sugar consumption, and as we all know what goes up must come down.  You see, our body is at its peak when we choose foods that maintain balance, provinding constant nourishment instead of quick jolts. Refined sugar makes that balance very difficult.  Who would have know that a clean face towel could be just as satisfying to an adult as a twist cone could be to a young girl. 

Great article for reference:
http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/sugar-cravings.shtml

Gumball Solace

      I love truth, you know that concept that has been replaced with Wikipedia, the modern day Nicene Creed version of everyone collectively decides what is acceptable or "true" and then go with it.  But I love the real stuff, those truths or laws that exist whether we believe them or not.  Take gravity for instance, we can profess, reason, and argue intelligently about specifics, but once we step off the platform.... we will fall.  Unfortunately truth is not as clearly defined in society as is the law of gravity. 

      I can remember the first time I fell in love with gumballs.  The multi-colored, hollow center, "can't have just one" kind.  We were at the checkout stand at the local grocery store.  I was ahead of my mom as she wrote the check when I saw them, the two kids at the gumball machine.  As I recall one of them had a tube sock filled with pennies and the other held that classic tin Band-Aid box.  The boy would put the penny in, turn the knob, and out came a colorful gumball.  The girl would open the little silver door and let the gumball roll into her hand and then carefully transfer it to the tin box.  Before long I could see that it was almost full.  It was easy to tell they were determined to fill it to the top.  Their efficiency improved with each penny that was slotted in the turn dial, so did their excitement.

      It was almost contagious, just watching them, I could feel my own excitement growing.  I kept my eyes on them as my mom and I walked out of the store.  Funny that I should remember something so seemingly insignificant, but it mattered to me.  Watching them rejoice in their gumball heaven was mesmerizing because it was so opposite of what I was experiencing at the time.  My dad had recently died, my mom left with 7 children to care for, and as the youngest, there wasn't a lot I could do to change that.  At that age you just watch, listen, and do whatever a 4-year-old does in emotionally confusing times, like seek for solace. 

I didn't realize it then, but sugar became a crutch in times of emotional distress.  Now this may not be "true".  It may not be true that sugar offers comfort in times of distress, it merely offers a mini vacation for taste buds and a moment to forget, but no healing for the heart.  So is it "true" that sugar offers solace?  I guess it depends on your goals.  Is the mini vacation enough? It was then. But not any more.  I have finally realized that I want the steady calm that comes from balancing my blood sugar along with everything else in life.  I want more than a vacation for my taste buds.  I want balance, soul-satisfying, solace-inviting, heart-healing balance.  Truth is, I just want more. 

Obituary for the -ose

I have been conducting funeral services for the last few weeks, donning the black robes and all. More anger and physical frustration than tears I must admit. I didn't invite anyone, it was just me and my sugar. The problem was it kept offering to revive or resurect itself if only I would change my mind and give in. It was like our family's one-day turtle we named Scooter. You put him in the sandbox and think he will stay there, but he found his way out ever so slowly after I was certain he would stay put. My internal scrapbook of memories that I have carefully crafted kept opening to pictures of me making brownies with my mom, or those after-school chocolate chip cookie soirees I loved as a youth. How could I deprive my children of similar memories? But as often happens with memories there is more to the story than the one captured frame. As I allowed those memories to lengthen out I remembered the tummy aches and lethargy that replaced my youthful energy and before long I was camped out on the family couch or window seat out for the count while my body tried to recover from the sugar overdose. Memories are powerful. So now every time I pass my favorite chocolate in the grocery store (I know I shouldn't go down the middle aisle anyway) or smell those cinnamon rolls baking in IKEA I force myself back in the black robes and will myself back to the funeral. Then I remember that funerals are supposed to be short, for good reason, they are miserable and painful and heart breaking. I don't have to pay my respect to sugar. Let's make this short and sweet and get on with life. But wait there's a problem, or should I say a whole gang of problems.

Sugar is a bit like the mafia, it has lots of friends in many places hidden between safe ingredients like added vitamins and minerals or whole wheat flour. Do you just sever the relationship with the most lethal members, or avoid them all? I'll let you in on some of my mental chatter: "Table sugar and High Fructose Corn Syrup are the most obvious culprits, maybe I could just mourn for them..... but what about cane juice, evaporated cane sugar, succanat, agave nectar, maple syrup, brown sugar, molasses, stevia, and then all those sugar alcohols......on and on and on". How can I possibly create a life for myself and family without these ingredients that have offered supposed comfort for so long? Don't you need some form of sugar for balance in life? Again, balance in life? That's the goal....

Alright, I am still in mourning, still sitting at the funeral but I may have company.

to be continued

I missed Easter

I love Easter, I really do. As a Christian and a Mormon, this is one my favorite holidays, so you can understand why I was so frustrated that I missed it. I personally and spiritually missed it. Now I don't mean that I wasn't here, that I didn't make the Saturday night shopping trip with my husband to fill the baskets of our children with adorable pastel colored treats. In fact, I spent at least 20 minutes just looking for the "right" candy, meaning the candy that I would most love, and I was sure they would love it too! I really felt like a diligent parent when the candy-coated cadbury chocolate eggs could not be found on the candy aisle so I found someone to help me solve the problem. My husband wasn't even surprised, annoyed yes, but not shocked that I would go to such lengths to find my favorite Easter candy. Finaly after at least 10 minutes, the person stocking the shelf, pulled a box from behind and I was sure I heard choirs of angels sing. I felt so proud to know that the other people on the candy aisle, two to be exact, also seemed to be happy that we had found the holy grail. We finished our shopping by picking up some Twix minis, Starburst Jelly Beans, and Sour Skittles (my husbands pick). We came home and filled the Easter baskets, made a Jelly Bean trail with four Easter scriptures to read to stop them in their tracks before reaching their beloved baskets, and then we finally climbed in bed at 1 a.m. After a few Easter Egg Hunts and a load of treats, and one very late night, I was exhausted. I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a Wal-mart truck driven by a scary Easter Bunny, filled with Easter candy. The day was ruined before it even started. I wish I had stopped there, but Easter dinner was still to come. As my sweet Grandma-in-law shared stories and games, my little 2 year old girl in my lap, all I could think about was the vase of chocolate candy towering on the coffee table, just waiting for me to raid it. It felt horrible to be so consumed with cravings when I was totally missing the moment. When I should have been relishing the facial expressions and movements of my little girl as she experienced the day, I was mentally detained by the wrestling match between impulse and control going on in my head. I missed it. I have come to the realization that I cannot find that balance. I have tried the one day a week model, just on birthdays and special holidays model, only when I can enjoy it with my kids model, a little bit every day model, all have failed miserably. I have been in counseling for too long with Sugar as the therapist and Me as the patient, but instead of leaving with new solutions and a fresh perspective, I only feel self-loathing and regret. So I am done. Sugar and I are getting a divorce (Definition: To dissolve a bond between). I will never miss Easter again. Stay tuned as I develop coping strategies!

Misery loves company

So someone else named their blog "365 days without sugar". Because I haven't written in so long that I had to google my blog name just to remember how to find it, I was ecstatic to see that I was not the only to have miserably failed, or should I say set expectations a bit out of reach. I did last a few days longer, and had two more posts, not that it matters! I was reaching for the stars when the leaves on a local oak tree might have been a bit more attainable. So I have readjusted my expectations and learned a few things in the process. Don't get me wrong, I am still reaching for the stars, but focusing more on being happy with my speed and re-routing my direction. 1. Perhaps most important is that I cannot nor wish to live without the infamous Cacao bean. Seriously one of the greatest creations mother earth produces!!! Not to forget all the amazing fruits and vegetables, but chocolate, wow! 2. The more sugar I eat, the more I want (particularly the processed kind which is scientifically tagged addictive). So as I am reapproaching this journey to the perfect balance in life between optimum health and delectable indulgence...... I try to keep that in mind. 3. Triggers: Yep. That's a fantastic word. The image of a loaded gun comes to mind. Example: I eat red onions, I crave cookies, cakes and anything else to balance out the taste. Hmmm, another one? I overeat or wait to long to eat, I crave sugar. I am learning to watch for the things that trigger my sugar gun and create a bag of tricks that replace bullets with blanks. Go ahead, pull the trigger...... nothing comes! An ounce of preparation is a pound of cure.... Was is Billy the Kid who said that? Enough numbers, last thought for tonight.... the cutest lady sat by me this evening as I watched an African dance performed by two international students. When they asked us to get up and join in the "napkin dance", we looked at each other and laughed. After taking our seats this cute woman says to me "that was fun. I thought my get up and go had got up and gone". It reminded me that whether you are 30 or 80, you are never too old or young to defy expectations, challenge the norm, and do something unexpected. I came home, ate a FEW chocolates, and hugged my kids a little tighter. It must have been the serotonin boost from the chocolates! Balance, that's my new secret. Stay tuned to see how that adventure goes.

Processed Sugar can cause Addiction and Depression?

Yep! That's the title of the most recent acticle I have been reading. It was the first link for the search "depression and sugar" on google and was directed perfectly to the question that has been on my mind for the past few weeks and even months. Shortly after beginning this journey I noticed myself having a more difficult time staying mentally positive and physically energized. Even my husband mentioned that I just didn't seem myself. I felt disinterested in things that normally captivated me. I wanted to sleep more and converse less. I thought it was just the life changes we have experienced recently; changing things up takes time to adjust? That theory can only last for so long. When things didn't get better I started to wonder if perhaps it had something to do with the drastic change of sugar consumption I had made. But shouldn't that make me feel better? Shouldn't being one of the few americans who won't consume the traditional 100 pounds of sugar a year per person make my brain and body and spirit soar? What's the problem? All this effort and I feel worse? I knew I had to be missing something. Let me remind you here that all my life up to this point I have been well above average in the sugar-consumption parade. In fact, I may have been leading it - not so much the amount I consumed but simply the frequency with which I wanted or thought about it.
Well this article helped me put a few things into perspective..... So just for review:
1. Processed (prepared or modified) sugar is quickly absorbed directly into the blood stream and has no nutritional value.
2. Once in the blood stream, this sugar cause rise in insulin levels.
3. THIS ALSO RAISES THE ENDORPHIN LEVELS, a natural mood upper in the brain!
Did you hear that, no you didn't, but did you read that....... yet another source that states sugar is a drug, a chemical that affects the brain and can cause a "high" mentally, which results in a mood lift.

So let's be sure we understand what an endorphin is: "any group of peptide hormones that bind to opiate receptors and are found mainly in the brain. Endorphins reduce the sensation of pain and effect emotions."

There you have it. Sugar can reduce the sensation or perception of pain and, at least momentarily, effect our emotions. But let's remember here the law of gravity.... what goes up must come down. So if our moods are chemically altered by a sugar high, it naturally leads to a bit of a nose-dive clean up job that our body has to do to return to homeostasis or in this case, a stabilized blood sugar level. Why is this important? What does this yo-yo effect do to our body? Stay tuned for more in the next blog post of SUGAR - friend or foe!

If there were a proverbial "ban sugar" wagon, I have fallen off of it and am running close behind to try and catch up, although my speed is slowing as I smell the campfire cakes cooking. Moving cross country is no excuse, husbands job change.....no excuse. The influx of family events, social gatherings, and birthdays, ahhh, that's my downfall. Every celebration of some kind is accompanied by sugar, sugar, and more sugar. How can a delectable pan of brownies hold me captive with all I have learned and read about the detriments of white table sugar. How could I have eaten (and enjoyed every bite of) the bunny tracks ice cream with that birthday cake. My purpose in the experiment is not to banish sugar forever, maybe place it farther out of reach or interest, but not banish it. My purose is education and developing a healthy relationship with sweets, somehow finding that place where you still feel great and can enjoy an occasional treat. Is that found in serving size, in daily moderation, or perhaps it's the special occasion approach? Before I began this journey, I knew my sugar and I needed serious counseling, but is seperation the answer? Doesn't absence just make the heart grow fonder and hungrier? Do the cravings ever die? Alright, here I go.....back on the wagon to continue my journey. Could someone please keep that pan of brownies warm.....

Inflammation huh? I wouldn't have believed it or directly correlated it if I hadn't felt it for myself. On two different occasions I have consumed something that had small amounts of refined sugar; one was my husbands homemade barbecue sauce, I didn't even think to ask about the ingredients; the other was one of our favorite desserts of berries and cream. We usually make this dessert with honey, but tonight my husband added powdered sugar as we made it for someone else. On both occasions I have felt a noticeable swelling of my fingers within 30 minutes to an hour later. I ignored it the first time just thinking I was tired or maybe it was something I ate, althougth I expected the barbecue was the culprit. Tonight when I felt the tightness and inflammation I knew I must have eaten some sort of refined sugar. So I started itching to do the research. Here's what I found:

- According to wetherchange.com "One of the reasons inflammation occurs is due to the rapid rise in blood sugar, which causes biochemical changes in the cell. When the blood sugar goes up rapidly, sugar can attach itself to collagen in a process called glycosylation, increasing inflammation."
- Also, according to Dr. Sears, prolonged silent inflammation can lead to chronic disease.
- wellnessletter.com states that "inflammation is a normal response to infection or injury. Immune cells congregate at the site so that they can overwhelm and dispose of infectious organisms or debris from injury. It also states that "some researchers now believe that low-grade inflammation is associated with everything from heart disease and diabetes, to alzheimer's and arthritis, and may even be the cause of most chronic diseases."

I guess what I am learning is that if my body responds to a small amount of sugar (which I doubt I would have ever noticed outside the context of this 365 day challenge) with inflammation; and if inflammation is a normal response to infection or injury.....shouldn't I assume that sugar is harming my body or at the very least, slowing it down?

Friendship

It has been a few weeks since my last post. I have been trying to forget that I actually committed to this, or should I say I have been busy trying to find SOMETHING SWEET that isn't bad for my body and brain. All the "facts" are so confusing when it comes to sugar. Some people say that sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, and honey all affect the blood sugar levels the same way {sweetsuprise.com} ..... (pls. I don't buy it. My experience tells me different.) Other research says (and I quote so you don't think I am lying, or so I don't think I'm lying)

• " The white crystalline substance we know of as sugar is an unnatural substance produced by industrial processes (mostly from sugar cane or sugar beets) by refining it down to pure sucrose, after stripping away all the vitamins, minerals, proteins, enzymes and other beneficial nutrients. What is left is a concentrated unnatural substance that the human body is not able to handle, at least not in the quanties that we ingest it in today's accepted lifestyle. Sugar is addictive. The average american consumer nearly 115 lbs per year. This is per man, woman, and child. Practically 95% of people are addicted to it in some form or another."

Did you hear that? I have friends......and lots of them. Apparently I am not the only one addicted to sugar, or at least one website says so. {organicnutrition.co.uk} How can so-called research vary so widely? Well, I have 11 more months to figure it out.

Aaaah Friendship, what a wonderful thing.

I knew it was coming. The headache. I'm not making it up. It's not the kind of headache you get at night sometimes when your husband wants to hug (or more) and you have just eaten that night-time bowl of cereal because you were busy keeping the baby from throwing food across the room, or focused on making sure the others are eating their veggies, or any food for that matter. Don't get me wrong familydinner time is beautiful and essential, but noone ever said it wouldn't give you indigestion. So back to the headache, it was bad. According to 'sciencedaily.com' (May 4, 2009) — Ever miss your daily cup of coffee and subsequently get a pounding headache? According to reports from consumers of coffee and other caffeinated products, caffeine withdrawal is often characterized by a headache, fatigue, feeling less alert, less energetic and experiencing difficulty concentrating. -

I rarely get headaches (don't tell). I don't drink coffee, never have. I don't even drink caffeine. But could sugar really have the same withdrawal effects as coffee and caffeine?

And also, wisegeek.com (sounds like a reliable source) said "However, even cutting out some of these things (refined sugars) is likely to result in less dependence on sugar sugar sugar, and possibly less “addiction” to sugar sugar sugar."
I'm not sure why they said it three times, maybe they are addicted to sugar like me, maybe they too stutter at the thought of it, drooling aside. Maybe I'm not the only one who is a sugarholic. Not for long.....no more night time sugared cereals for me. You're welcome dear.

Oatmeal Cookies

Is there some unwritten law among neighbors that if you borrow an egg, cup of flour, or even a bit of sugar, you are entitled to a portion of the baked good? If sabatoge had a face it would look like a cute young mom with her little boy who shows up on your doorstep Sunday afternoon with a bag full of cookies, chocolate chip OATmeal cookies. It wasn't their fault, I haven't made the sign for my forehead that says "societal recluse", or "sugar allergy", or simply just "crazy person who started a sugar blog". Any one would do to scare off those darn neighbors who think about sharing their sweets with me. Don't they know they are adding salt to my gaping wound?
No worries, I convinced myself that they couldn't possibly taste as good as they smelled, just before I cried.

Whistler

So on my run this morning I had a car pass by and I could have sworn I heard a whistle. You know the kind to get your attention. I looked behind me to see who they were whistling at. Never mind that it was a self-made truck, the kind of guy that has some friend at the detail shop or better yet, works there himself and drives the car as a way of advertising. The know just how to cut the back half off and leave only the really important parts, engine, front seats, windows, etc. So, a guy in a half-truck, whistled at me. That hasn't happened in 15 years. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't mind if it never happened again. But funny thing is, I bet he saw that I hadn't had sugar in 12 hours. Look, it's already making a difference!

At least I have to tell myself that because my trip to the grocery store was a bit like a dentist visit, only worse. At least at the dentist office you know the anesthesia will wear off after a few hours. As I perused the aisles (I didn't even attempt the middle ones) I was shocked by how little I actually eat on this "No Sugar" plan. Who's idea was this anyway? I entered with low expectations, I knew that it was going to be challenging, but really? Does everything need a boost of sugar and High Fructose Corn Syrup (that doesn't deserve to be capitalized) to sale in this country? So I made it safely through the fruits and vegetables area, filling my cart generously as I wasn't quite sure anything else in the store would be illegal on this crazy plan. Well, the trouble started with my favorite market fresh salsa, I love this stuff. Fresh. Good. Healthy. Salsa. As I turned over the container there it was glaring at me, laughing at me, SUGAR. Scratch the salsa off my dwindling grocery list. I tried my best to laugh back and keep my "no sugar" positive attitude. Had it really only been 12 hours? The deli counter was next. Honey Ham please? 1/2 pound. I asked to look just to get the practice, not thinking that anyone would think that anyone would pollute the deli counter with unwanted sugars, it's deli meat for heaven sakes. Again, the laughing, this time growing louder. My Honey Ham had honey alright but it also had sugar!!! I checked a few other deli meats, the good quality kind that have no MSG, laughter. I was pretty sure that defeat was around the corner, that I would lay prostrate on the grocery store aisle and bang my fists thinking how I couldn't quit, I had started a blog. Finally the Virginia Ham saved me. No sugar. I regained my strength and began thinking about cheese, pretty safe area. I loaded up, thinking that if I was missing the sugar I could shock my mouth with a few sharp cheeses. Maybe that will take care of those nighttime cravings. Dairy aisle, my favorite "healthy" yogurts were out. Even though they brag "organic sugar", who even knows what that means.

It looks like research time. More later.

My friend once told me that there is no bigger contrast on the color scheme than black and white, that's why I chose it for my template. Contrast, a marked difference. Yep, that's what I want, a marked difference, a contrast. So I decided to start this experiment and knew that I had to fully commit, thus the blog. So here's the experiment:

365 days without sugar: What kind of sugar? Because it is impossible to completely rid your diet of sugar, and unhealthy, I wanted to see what kind of difference it would make in my life to cut out all refined sugars, particularly the High Fructose Corn Syrup. That cuts quite a bit of food out of my American diet. This indeed will be an adventure. So, what am I left with?


http://www.becomehealthynow.com/article/carbs/1082/"Sugar cane and beets are subjected to the same refining processes and produce identical products. In the repeated processes of washing, boiling, centrifuging, filtering and drying, nearly all of the plant’s nutritional elements are lost. What remains in the raw sugar product is 95% sucrose along with nutritionally insignificant minerals. "Raw Sugar" is not a raw or natural product at all, but is the highly refined, nutritionally depleted, 95% sucrose product before it is even further refined. IF sanitized by steaming this "raw sugar" can be marketed as turbinado. To produce the white crystals we call table sugar, bleaching agents such as lime and carbon dioxide are added. The sugar is then further "purified" (refined) and whitened by being filtered in a water-added liquid state through beef bone char. This process removes even more minerals. Sucrose in its completely refined stage is more familiarly called table sugar. "Pure" sugar refers to chemical purity, devoid of all nutritional and other elements, and not to a wholesome quality.The completely refined white sugar product is now over 99.9% sucrose and for all practical purposes contains no nutritional elements such as vitamins, minerals, proteins or fibers. This accounts for expressions such as "empty calories" and "junk food".

So there you have it. Refined sugar is basically devoid of all nutrients.
more later.